St George Marathon

I keep trying to start this race post, But I just don't know where to start.

I'll just start from the beginning, since my 2 year mark of starting to run is Thursday, October 10th. My birthday.

I was about to turn 25 years old. I was depressed and weighed 40 pounds more than I had ever weighed. We had just gotten back from a family birthday party with my in laws (we have 5 October birthdays on my husband's side, including me) I was given 2 fun size packs of Reeses peanut butter cups, as one gift (8 individual cups in each pack, so a total of 16) these were my ABSOLUTE favorite candy. Long story short, I pigged out and ate ALL of them with in just a few minutes. After realizing what I had just done, I became disgusted. Disgusted because this wasn't the first time I'd pig out on junk. It happened a lot but for some reason, that particular moment I decided things HAD to change! I had tried several times before to lose weight but I never stuck with anything long enough to actually lose weight. So, at that moment I decided that my 25th year was going to be the best year of my life. And it was. I lost my extra weight and I was the happiest I had been in years! I had started running that same week of my birthday and haven't stopped yet.

Fast forward a year. October 5, 2012 I ran my very first marathon. (You can read all about it here) There were so many things that happened in that race that hurt me badly. Not to mention the HORRIBLE charlie horses I got in my calves that locked my legs up and I couldn't move for a few minutes at mile 24. It was awful. After that race I wanted redemption. I wanted to feel better about everything. So what did I do? Signed up for another marathon. 2 months after my first marathon, I ran my second. This second marathon though wasn't about my time. I wanted/needed to fall back in love with running. And I did just that. After my 2nd marathon, 1.5 months later I ran my 3rd, 2weeks after my 3rd, I ran my 4th. 3 months after my 4th, I ran my 5th. One month after that, I ran my 6th. And finally....3 months later, I ran my 7th. My 7th was the same race as my first.

Not to go into too much detail but I feel the need to talk a little bit about the other marathons. Marathon #3 and #4 were 2 weeks apart. I wanted to get a PR on #4. (My first marathon time was 4:03:15) So to skip all the training details, it was time to run marathon #3. The plan was to take it as a training run and then the marathon in 2 weeks would be a big PR. During marathon #3 I decided to go for a PR. After finishing, I went over to the results and it was posted that I got a 3:59:01!! I cried and cried with excitement. I couldn't believe it! I was so extremely proud. Well....that bubble popped the next day. I looked at my results online and it said 4:03:07. What the heck?? So I contacted the timing company and they said they screwed up and had to adjust the times (its a long, drama filled story. I'll skip it.) So....there I was, extremely upset because I so badly wanted that sub 4hour time. It was right there, but then the timing company screwed up. So, I thought I'd get it the next marathon. That race, a friend and I decided to go for a 3:45 time. Everything started out great, until mile 18. EVERY SINGLE TIME I bonk at that mile. I kept getting told it was because I wasn't training correctly. Possibly running too fast on my long runs. But I found out just recently that that's not true. It was mental. (I'll get to that in a minute) Back to marathon #4 and bonking and mile 18 yet again. I finished that race at 4:10:12. Yet again, another let down. No sub 4. A few months later I ran #5. It stated out great. Legs were fantastic. Got to mile 18 and no bonk!! I ended up stopping around mile 20 to stretch a little and noticed something. I had started my period!! To spare too much detail, lets just say mile 20 was a 22 minute mile. Crying my eyes out and cleaning a mess, totally just killed me. My hopes, yet again, were lost for a sub 4. I finished that race in 4:45 something. I was so incredibly sad. From that marathon on, I sunk into a bad depression. A lot happened after that race, and things were said to me that really hurt me, badly. I started to hate running. I became the person who I once hated. The summer months were hard as is because here in Arizona, we never get under 105 degrees. So running in extremely hot weather killed my desire to run, but add depression and hurt feelings on top of that...most weeks I didn't even get up from the couch. I was in a dark place. About the beginning of July, a friend on Facebook created a virtual run. It was called the Crazy Pyramid Challenge. It was a 5k, 10k, half marathon, full marathon (#6), 10k, and 5k all done in 7 convective days. I decided to do to. I knew my times wouldn't be as fast as I'd like because I hadn't been running but I needed something to get me up. Completing this challenge did exactly that. I fell back in love with running and that passion was restored. So now, I was only dealing with the lack of motivation to get up at 4am and run in 95 degree weather, or run at 9pm in 105 degree weather. But, looking back, I did a my best and I'm happy for what I did in August and September. About a month before my 7th marathon, I decided I would just run to finish. I would take off the timing chip so my results wouldn't be posted online. And I wouldn't wear my watch. That pressure of beating my time from the year before stressed me out, so getting rid of the timing chip and running with no watch made me feel less pressure. (Even though I REALLY wanted a PR, I didn't think my summer training was enough) 3 weeks before the marathon, a friend said that he would help me train for my next marathon in February. I want to qualify for Boston there (I need a 3:35 to qualify) and so we began training. His trainings are different than what I'm used to, but I love the change. I learned a lot about myself in the 3 weeks before my marathon and decided to go ahead with wanting to get my PR. My coach helped me more than with just running. Something clicked and now, my mental game was a whole lot stronger than ever. I felt calm and confident. That's something I've never felt before. The week of the race, I would have moments of self doubts but after talking with my coach, he would say just the right things to help me get out of my own head.

Ok, finally. Race morning.

I didn't meet anyone race morning. I wanted to be alone so I could visualize how the I wanted to run the race. I sat by the fire to keep warm, it was 32 degrees at the start, and I listened to the song "Be Still My Soul" several times. I prayed. I relaxed. I cried a little. Here I was again, where the year from hell started, but this time was MY TIME. No one and nothing was going to bring me down again. This was all me. I dropped off my bag and watched as the gun went off. I had decided I would start near the end so that I would avoid going out too fast. I stood along side the 7,600 runners as they all raced out. I faced the starting line and replayed my game plan one last time. I closed my eyes, prayed that I would be comforted and off I went. As I passed the start, a flood of memories came into mind. I cried a lot the first mile because of everything that happened the year before. But, I wiped away those tears and that pain and only thought positive thoughts. This was my time.

Having run this marathon before, I knew how to NOT run it. The first 7 miles were downhill and if you go out too fast, you will pay later on. So instead of going too fast, I actually went too slow. But....having bonked extremely hard in marathons before, I DID NOT want to experience that again. My first half was a time of 2:08:01. An average pace of 9:48. Crap. Way too slow. I had better pick it up if I want that sub 4 hour (a 9:06 pace) around mile 16 I started to push, still a little cautious because if the dreaded mile 18. When mile 18 came, I was on fire. I felt absolutely amazing. I checked my watch and I was still at an average pace of 9:27. With only 8 miles left, I had to book it!! And I did just that. My last 6 miles were under 8:30 and my last 2 miles were 7:54 and 7:42. (To prove how fast I was going...first off, my last 6 miles in my other marathons have been close to 12 minute miles. And second, the marathon had this app that tracked how many people you pass and how many pass you. In the last 7 miles I passed 706 people and ZERO passed me!!!) Around mile 21, I felt a little bit of pulling in my legs, as if a cramp was about to start. I realized, the more I thought about that cramp starting, the more it cramped up. And if I distracted my mind, the cramp went away. So, I put on my music and jammed out til the finish. The last .2 miles were the best part of the race. I saw the finish line and started bawling (yes, I cry A LOT) I saw the crowds and just threw my hands up and started to scream and cheer. I yelled and cried all the way to the finish. I knew I had cut it close to a sub 4, so I hurried and looked at my watch, and I did it!!!! I flippen did it!!! 3:59:30 (according to my watch) I wanted to cry, well I already was. I looked up from my watch and there was my cousin (he was a volunteer at the finish) he was yelling my name with his arms opened yelling "you did it Emily! You did it!" I gave him a huge hug and just cried. Finally. After everything I have been through, I FINALLY faced my fears and self doubt and I proved to myself that I am a whole lot stronger than I think. My cousin went and grabbed a medal and put it around my neck. I just stood there crying. I couldn't believe this actually happened. As I walked to go to bag pick up and go check out the official results, my legs started cramping and locking up. So I found some shade and laid down and stretched. A few minutes later my cousin found me and showed me my office time 3:59:32!!!! Again, the tears flowed!

I can't believe I FINALLY got my sub 4 hour finish. Its been a long, difficult year but now I'm ready to move on and chase after my Boston Qualifying time! I'm so excited to be working with a coach and more importantly, that I have conquered my mind. I can do anything I put my mind too, AND SO CAN YOU!