Reflecting A Little

I have days where I just sit and remember life before. My husband and I just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Looking back on our marriage, I can't help but remember me. Remembering who I was. I was very young when I got married, 20 years old. Before being married I wasn't the best at keeping things cleaned, I never really cooked, and I helped with laundry but didn't do it all the time. So getting married and then having all those "duties" on my list was very over whelming. Our apartments weren't very clean, when I did wash laundry I folded it but it all stayed on the couch, and dinners....ah....ya...no comment. As these 5 years have past I'm still not that great with chores. I do cook a whole lot better. But cleaning and laundry...are not a pleasant chore. As I'm sure is the same with lots of wives/moms.

I was reflecting on my life. After having my first daughter, almost 4 years ago, I became very depressed. I never left the house. I hardly ever got dressed in clothes, just wore my pj's all day. My house was a disaster. My marriage was very....what's a good word...um..hard? We had lots of fights, LOTS, and we never got along. It was very trying. And VERY tiring. So...after a while of this, I left.  I wanted a divorce. I was so tired of how my life was and always feeling the way I did. We were separated for 6 weeks. Being away from my hubby I had some time to think and kind of relax. I had my eyes opened several times as to how I was behaving towards my husband. I began to feel really guilty. Guilty for treating him the way I did. Long story short, we figured things out.

(Just a little add it...since I've started running, my depression as slowly gone away. It really hasn't been until recently where my home life has been better. I have felt great, but with the past being what is was, things at home still weren't amazing....it was great...but now it's amazing! We all laugh more and want to spend more time together. I have always dreamed of having a great marriage. Having a marriage where me and my hubby will laugh lots and love no matter what. I can finally say, after 5 years, we are just about there. We spent the weekend in Utah together and never got annoyed with each other. Normally it's after an hour we are snapping haha I am finally having fun in my marriage and getting along with my hubby. Know this, my husband is a wonderful man. I, with my problems, didn't see that. He is very sarcastic and always happy. I get annoyed with him. Now, I get it. Now I'm happy and now we are happy. It's a great feeling. Especially after so many years of pointless trials, caused by me. (No I'm not brain-washed hahaha) I'm just truly happy and able to take a freakin joke now!)

So, not only was my home life a challenge, I haven't even begun on my weight problems. Back in high school I was very fit. I played volleyball, ran track (sprints...100meter dash, 300meter hurdles) I also was a dancer. Needless to say, I was in great shape. I after high school I played volleyball at a jr college for a year. It was that year that I got to the best shape of my life. If anyone has played college ball, you know that it's a huge step up from high school ball. Intense lifting, long practices. My point is, I have NEVER dealt with weight issues. I never even thought about my weight. Sure, I was insecure with my looks, but I never stressed too much over it.

After playing college ball I started gaining weight. I believe I was 125lbs and the summer before I got married I was 132. I was married in April '07. Didn't gain much weight until I became pregnant. After having my first child I was never able to get back down to 125lbs. I tried, but not very hard. Started a lot of new workouts...never finished them. I can remember talking with my husband before becoming pregnant with our second child, we had decided that we would start trying to get pregnant when I weighed 125lbs. After a few months of "trying" I ended up giving up and then got pregnant. I weighed 145lbs. After having my second child in April '11 I got down to 162lbs. I stopped nursing which helped in the weight loss journey. I started running weighing in at 150lbs. So with the history I have laid out, I hope you would gather that to me...weight this much was sickening. I did not like the way I looked. I know I've talked about this before, but being so depressed, having weight issues took me to the max. I had a hard time. This was a huge trial for me. But I'm happy to say that after months of HARD work....and consistency....I have made it past my goal! I know weigh....

 (I promise it's a photo of the scale...it was dark this morning when I weighed in;)

I cannot believe I have come this far! It still seems so unreal! I was kind of nervous this morning after seeing I had lost more weight, but I've never done this before. I don't know what my body likes...what weight it's comfortable at. But after thinking about it, I'm fine. I eat right...with some extra sweets...I'm strong and have no issues lifting heavy things. So I'm not worried. Back in my college days of being 125lbs, I was muscular. I had a nice 6 pack and defined muscles...running is helping me lose weight and I have a different body. I'm slim and not so muscular. Either way, I'm feeling great!

I was sort of worried in the beginning if I'd still think of myself as a "fatty" after losing weight. But I don't. I love being able to wear skinny jeans. I've actually just gained my sister's "skinny clothes" she JUST had her baby on 4/22 so needless to say, she won't need them for another week or so. haha But my sister has always been skinny. She has a different body type than me. She's a stick and I was more muscular build. But with running now, I'm slim enough to fit in her clothes! haha It's awesome. Anyway, kind of a long post. But I wanted to make sure people know my past and know how hard I've worked for this weight loss. Don't get depressed by my postings on facebook, I'm only celebrating! Not trying to brag and make a huge scene. Just is fun to help motivate others!

Oh ya! I am running a 5k race THIS Saturday! I love 5k races and haven't ran one since the beginning of December! I'm a little nervous, only because I'm super competitive and NEEDING to beat my previous time of 26 minutes and ONE second. Wish me luck!

ps...I know I missed my weekly miles on Sunday...so I'll post them here.

Weekly miles for 4/16-4/20
This week was different...I had horrible shin splints so I took the week off...except for running with my sister in law.
We ran:
Monday, Wednesday and Friday...walk 1 minute, run 1 minute for 20 minutes.

I'm hoping to start running again after this weekend. Need to get my new shoes. So yes, I'm running a 5k with my shoes that give me problems but at least I'll have my inserts so maybe I can make the 3 miles!

Weekly Miles and Ready To Start YOUR Journey?

First off...here are my miles for the week!
Monday: 6
Tuesday: 4.5
Wednesday 4.5
Thursday: off
Friday: 6
Saturday 5.5
Total Miles: 26.5

Nothing new this week. Still trying to run around 25 miles a week for now. In June we'll be following a running program. If you really want to see the schedule click here. It'll be at the bottom of the page. I'm really looking forward to summer now. I'm getting soo tired of pushing the double stroller. I keep trying to tell myself it's good training...but it's hard when I run 2 times a week without it and know how much nicer it is without it!! Anyway, I learned a valuable lesson this week. I learned the RECOVERY part is VERY important after a run. I ran 6 miles Monday night around 8pm and then ran 4.5 miles 13 hours later . I had a bite to eat after the Monday run and drank some water as I iced. But didn't spend any extra time recovering. I nearly died during Tuesday's run. I think the main reason why was because it was hot as heck that day. Anyway, from the heat and lack of water, I got really dehydrated and got heat exhaustion. Fever like symptoms, migraine, nausea all night. It was not fun. But I definitely learned that lesson. Need a little extra something when runs are close. And bring water with me on runs. I never did cuz I didn't need water unless it was over 7 miles. But now I have it "just in case"

I have had several people come to me asking "how can I get started with running?" I know that running sucks. It's hard. But two things..well three...to remember when first starting. First, GO SLOW!!! VERY VERY SLOW!!! Second, it's all a MENTAL game. When I first started, my whole run was me trying to convince myself to STOP running. And thirdly, you have to remember WHY you are running!! This is SOOO important! I think this last step really pushed me. Helped create a habit out of running. Please understand, running was very hard for me to start. I had never ran more than a mile and that was 6 or 7 years ago in high school. I've had 2 kids since and was 35 pounds heavier. So I ran very very VERY slow. I know a lot of people who try to go out and run 3 or 4 miles at once and die. Then decide they hate running and never do it again. ANY ONE can run. It's all about how you start. If you rush into it and think you can run several miles at a time, you will hate it. So, what I'm getting to is this, first learn to be mentally tough. Mind over matter. Learn how to forget what you are doing. I swear to you, you can go far with this mentality. Second, write down your reasons why you run. I did, they are on this blog. But basically I was sick and tired of hating myself and what I looked like. So I ran. And then my last point...go slow. I started running with my sister in law this past week. So now on Sundays in my "weekly miles" posts I'm going to post what we did. So here it is...

ONLY 3 days a week!
Monday: RUN 1 minute, WALK 2 minutes for 20 minutes total
Wednesday: Same thing. RUN 1 minute, WALK 2 minutes for 20 minutes total
Friday: SAME THING! RUN 1 minute, WALK 2 minutes for 20 minutes total.

Want to know something awesome? I told my sister in law on Monday, our first run, that week 2 we are going to take a minute away from walking...so we'd be doing RUN 1 minute WALK 1 minute. She kind of laughed and said "ya right"  By Friday, walking for 2 minutes and running 1 became EASY for her and she said that she'd be ready on Monday to start the run 1 minute, walk 1 minute. Yes, I know, it's very slow. But I promise if you start slow, you will come to love it and not hate it. But you'll get to where you want fast than just trying to go out and run it all in one day once a week.

Take me for example. I'm now running 25+ miles a week with a double stroller (I only add that in cuz it's a whole other story without one. MAD props go out to moms who run while pushing a double stroller!) I started out walking 2 minutes, running 1. I too HATED running. I tried several times before and just couldn't keep consistent. I guess that's another thing to remember. CONSISTENCY is soooo important.

Review:
4 MAJOR things to remember when starting to run

1. GO SLOW
2. Mind over matter...be mentally tough
3. Remember WHY you are running
4 Be consistent!

I promise you that doing these 4 things will change you. Will get you to where you want to go. I am living proof! Any one can run. It doesn't matter body type. Running will help get you in the best shape for YOUR body type.

Enough rambling. I hope this helps someone! I just felt impressed to share all this with you!

Thanks for stopping by!

Skinny Jeans!

Remember when I lost those 3lbs randomly a week ago, I was very surprised. Since then I really haven't gotten in the my "going out" clothes, just stayed in my workout clothes cuz I had no where to be. Well 2 days ago we went to the park as a family. As I was getting dressed....my only pair of pants where HUGE on me and my shirt was even bigger! I think I lost more inches than I did weight. I couldn't believe it! Due to hormones and rushing to get to the park before sunset, I kind of cried cuz I had nothing to wear! As I stood there in my room with a few tears running down my face, I quickly had a flashback to before losing the weight. I would cry and cry and then not end up going out cuz I didn't have clothes that fit or that I looked too fat in. I soon started laughing and just enjoyed the big clothes for once. What a feeling! Today is my 5th wedding anniversary with my husband! I begged him to take me clothes shopping! He took me out last night. I was very picky with finding the right clothes. I knew I'd be in these clothes longer than the last ones I had just bought 3 months ago. I found 4 shirts that are beautiful and one pair of pants. I know I've said this before, but before I started running I wore a size 12 pant. 3 months ago I bough 2 pairs of jeans at a size 7. One pair was a "Curvy" jean...made for people who aren't just STICKS. I've got curves. These pants where a little tight, but I figured I'd lose an inch and they'd fit perfect. Well, eventually they did fit perfect....and then they got big....and now they are huge. Kind of cool! Anyway, back to the reason of this story, my husband took me clothes shopping last night and I tried on a pair of "skinny" jeans (the actually style "skinny jeans") I brought back a size 7 and a size 5 for wishful hoping. I tried on the 7 and they were huge! So...I tried on the 5....PERFECT! I bawled. (Man, this journey is sure emotional hahahaha) What a WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC, SUPER-AWESOME feeling! NOTHING beats that! Fitting in a size I wore in high school!

I recently joined the facebook world again. I took a 9 month vacation from it. I'm so glad I got back on and shared my journey on there. I love the feedback! Not only the "good jobs" or "you look great" but more the emails I get saying how my journey has inspired someone to start their journey again. I cry every time I read an email. I think knowing that is just as rewarding as losing all the weight I have. It really is an awesome feeling! Thank you to all those who have emailed me. I created this blog in hopes to inspired someone! I didn't know it would touch and help so many!

Much Love! <3

Celebrating Six Months Of Running!

Sometimes when I look back at where I started, I cannot believe it was only 6 months ago! I can't believe how fast I got addicted to running and far I've come since day one. Day one I couldn't run a mile. I ran/walked a mile in 20 minutes! TWENTY MINUTES!! And now my fastest mile is under 8 minutes...I haven't ran just 1 mile to see how fast I am now.

It's amazing to think that in just another six months I will be running a full marathon! I remember back in 2009 "starting" to train for a marathon, but that lasted about a week. I don't know what's changed in me to finally keep me going. Definitely seeing my before and after photos, running small races...having paid for something forces me to try my best so it's not a waste...and now I've shared this blog with lots of friends and I'm getting some amazing feedback that really keeps me going! Wanting to do more!

I'm so grateful that I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired and got up and did something. It was hard. Believe me. There were several days that I wanted to stop. But after seeing some weight fall off I honestly was too scared to not run in fear that weight would just come right back. I thought missing ONE run all that weight would come back. Now, I'm not worried about it. Now I run because I know if I don't I feel like crap. Yesterday was one of those days. I should have at least gone for a walk. Sundays are really hard days with church being in the middle of naptime. My baby is not a happy camper! It's stressful. So maybe I at least need to get out and walk before everyone wakes up!

I have been trying to train my body to start waking up at 6am. During the day both my girls are so active that I really don't get any "me" time. Besides my running, they do really well sitting in the stroller. But, I don't get to check email or read blogs or do something I want to do! I've been getting up at 6am for about a week now and boy does it feel great sitting in silence!

Anyway, just a quick post to celebrate 6 months of running! Never have I stuck to something this long on my own! (And I'm really not doing it alone! But I sure ain't in high school and have a coach drilling me! I miss those days!)

I took some photos this morning, it's been a few months since I've done photos. I compared them to my very first photo! Down 27 pounds and LOTS of inches!

BEFORE
Weight: 150lbs
Tummy: 35in
Hips: 41in
Inner Thigh: 25in
Chest: 38in
Bicep: 13in

6 MONTHS LATER
Weight: 123lbs
Tummy: 28in
Hips: 35in
Inner Thigh: 20in
Chest: 28in
Bicep: 9in

I still have got some toning to do so don't look too closely! haha I'm excited to see my body after my marathon!

Weekly Miles

Monday- 6
Tuesday- 4.5
Wednesday- 3
Thursday- rest :)
Friday- 4.5
Saturday- 6 w/hills
Sunday- rest
Total miles: 24
Saturday run was a fairly difficult run, so thats why the fewer miles. Saturday we try to do 7+. We went trail running, so fun, and ran some good hills. It was also very windy. So windy that my training buddy and I really couldn't hear one another when we talked. (you know, I really need to give the name of my running buddy haha. Her name is Annie and she is so sweet and so awesome.)
She is really helping me a lot with learning about running. I've only been running 6 months now and I've learned so much.
Tomorrow I start running with my sister in law! She is starting exactly where I did. No running experience. I'm very excited to help her. I really love sharing my knowledge and helping those who want it. I will be posting our runs on this blog so everyone who is interested in starting running can see what we do!
Happy Easter everyone!

Weekly Miles

I want to start tracking my weekly miles. I want to put times down as well, but I'm not consistent with timing yet. Right now with how many miles we are running, we are just trying to get them in. Anyway, these miles are from a week ago. First week I ran more than 15 miles! Pretty huge!

Monday- off
Tuesday- 5
Wednesday- 5
Thursday 5
Friday- Off
Saturday- 9!!
Total Miles- 24!

Saturday was the first high miles run since my half marathon in January. It felt great! Killer with the hills we ran! But it was awesome!

On Monday I'm going to help my sister-in-law start running! I will be posting those miles/times daily. Now that I'm back on facebook, I've had many friends comment or email me asking how to start or saying they want/need to start. I'm going to be doing with my sister-in-law the exact plan I followed! So maybe me posting in on here with help my friends know where to start.

I honestly love the feedback I'm getting. It's really inspiring ME! I've been really into personal training, or more so helping someone train, and I feel that is what I get to do with this blog. Maybe when my kids get older and I go back to work, I'll take on real personal training.

Well that's all for now. I'll make my "Weekly Miles" posts on Sundays and hopefully keep track of them better! I wish I would have written down my weekly miles before even running my half marathon. Would have been fun to see what I was doing. I can't really remember now. I know that I didn't run anything over 7 miles until 2 weeks before my marathon when I ran a 10 miler. But that's all I can really remember.

**To those of you who recently found my blog, anyone can do this! I started out NEVER having ran more than a mile. And then starting out in October 2011 I ran and walked two miles three times a week. That was 6 months ago and now I'm fully running 25 miles a week. It's an incredible journey and with a little determination, dedication, and discipline anything can be accomplished.

Another Weigh In

I decided to check the scale again this morning and I'm very glad I did! Down 3 more pounds! I now weigh 123lbs bringing my total weight loss to.....27lbs! In just 6 months!! Here's the thing...i was very content weighing 126lbs so when I got down to that a month ago, I haven't even thought about weighing myself. I recently increased my miles per week from 15 to now 25....so I'm thinking that's how I lost the weight. To be honest, I'm a little concerned how these next 6 months will go. I don't exactly want to lose anymore weight but I think if I got down to 120 or below it, I might not like that. I dont want to be "to skinny" but who knows, maybe weighing 120lbs means that my arms, midsection and rear will look nicer :)

I need to take more photos. But for now, I've found these "beauties" on facebook! Why didn't anyone tell me how chubby I was!?

These photos are from the past 4 years or so. Yes, some are shortly after having a baby...but I didn't lose much after having my second...in the last photo. Yuck!! I almost cried seeing that photo and yet, I'm sharing it on here!

But look at me now! I love feeling pretty!!

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Life Lesson

I feel I have come a long way this past 6 months. Not only have I lost 25 pounds and hit my goal weight, which I never thought I'd do, but I've also been able to change my outlook on life and my attitude. I realized how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man to call my husband and 2 amazing girls for daughters. BUT the thing I want to write down to remember is this....

On Friday, March 30th we had a birthday party for my baby who turned 1! At that party, I had my wonderful sister videotape my baby eating her cake and then opening presents. Well, during the presents I was the one helping my baby learn all about the tissue paper and what to do with it. There was a moment where I got annoyed and kind of snapped my command. When I saw how I LOOKED I nearly died. I have NEVER seen myself in a video so seeing how I really looked, it was really heartbreaking. I had no idea how rude and mean I looked.

But...on the other hand, I also saw another side of me...I have NEVER thought I was pretty. Always had low self-esteem. And for once I saw myself, the smiling parts, and thought I really was pretty. I have been told my whole life how pretty my smile is. I never really thought anything of it. Until seeing this video, I really do have a pretty smile.

What did I learn from this? Smile more! Smile all the time! I really am truly embarrassed for how horrible I look when I'm mad, upset, annoyed, or frustrated. It's amazing(ly sad) to see how I look when I feel annoyed. I never thought that I looked annoyed...I tried to play it off with a smile. But you could tell it was fake and honestly I look like a total B word.

I truly am sorry to my friends and family who I have offended with my looks. Having seen myself, I have made a goal to smile more. I now know how pretty I am when I smile and I want people to see that rather than the very mean looking side. Honestly if looks could kill...I'd be a serial killer. I really truly am sorry.

Since seeing this video, I have been happier. It's been a few days but I don't think I've ever smiled so much. My husband even called me cute. (Side note...my husband is awesome. He occasionally will tell me I look pretty but I normally have to pry it out of him, so it's a HUGE deal for me when he says it without prying. Again...I cried...remember I cry a lot :)

I'm trying very hard to be more positive. Taking the negative with a grain of salt. I feel so completely happy. Even back in the good old high school days, I was a very happy person but never felt complete. I was always insecure and thought everyone was prettier than me. But now, I feel I'm among the pretty ones...that sounds cheesy...but I'm not comparing myself to every girl that walks by. I stand a little taller and smile a lot more and know I'm just as pretty.

I'm so extremely happy where I have come in the past few months. I can remember back when my first daughter was born and dreaming of the kind of person, wife, and mother I wanted to be and then thinking how I was no where close to that. But I can now say I have taken a big step closer and really truly am doing what I know is right.

I hope this all makes sense. Just a lot of scrambled thoughts going through my mind right now and I want to remember this.